I hadn't realised how important a place can become, a home. 453 was just that. I hadn't for a minute imagined when I had moved in, it would be so difficult to move out, move on, to let go, and am still yet to know what it will take to disconnect. While I do like to believe that I am nomadic, vagabond-ish and so on... but that doesn't make it easier!!! Au contraire.
The whole process happened so fast. and so abrupt. and thereby more difficult. I don't know if it was letting or snatching off.
Yesterday I met this person here in Vienna, who is letting go of her 'home', her home for the past over two years, and she was letting go... Giving away things, and going back to Brazil... and the uncertainities there of.
I have been wondering 'what am i doing here', really... Don't know what's happening. How the past few months have worked out, it's really like jumping in front of a running train. One thing after another. Being here, is just one more of those things. Student registration, looking for a place, and the first time to everything ever again.
Sarai is a hindi word which means rest house, literally. But is more like when places where travelers could break their journey, and be there, to recoup, to rejuvenate. While 453 was a home to me, I like to believe it was a sarai to many others. It was that kind of a space, where people could/would come in, for a talk, for a cook, for work, for crashing over, for drinking, for living, to begin their bangalore journeys, or just to be. At least I thought of it like that.
I am sure this blog would never be that. or anywhere close. In fact, as bad as I am with updating/maintaining this site, I don't eXpect much to happen here. But maybe this is one way of just holding on... and still letting go.
Now here, at this person's home, I was wondering if that would be my neXt home. And if so, what kind of place that would be.
Here's to new beginnings...
(the shot of the first coffee and cigarette here, please don't mind the shaky camera - took it off my laptop, and was balancing it with one hand.